12 Healing habits

This month’s new experience was something very different from my usual routine — I signed up for a 25 km relay race, where each person in the team runs 5 km. For weeks, this race was my motivation to keep running. I had set it as my goal, and I trained consistently leading up to it. You can see my progress here in my running journal.

Running Journal

On the day of the race, I felt a lot of stress and anxiety. Everyone kept telling me, “Just have fun”, but for me it wasn’t that simple. I tend to put pressure on myself even for things that are supposed to be easy or fun. Still, I showed up at the start line determined to give my best.

I ran the last leg for my team and finished my 5 km in 43 minutes, with a pace of 8:10 and a cadence of around 180. It wasn’t easy — there were moments I felt out of breath and tired — but I kept going. And finally, I crossed the finish line.

One part of the experience was bittersweet. I expected at least one teammate to be there when I finished since I was the last runner. But no one was waiting at the finish line. Some other teams even crossed the line together, hand-in-hand with their fifth runner, but when I arrived, I didn’t see anyone from my team. No one seemed to notice or acknowledge that I had just finished the race.

At first, this made me feel a little sad. I realized I sometimes focus too much on who shows up for me rather than simply appreciating what I’ve achieved for myself. This was one of those moments where I could have chosen joy, but instead I leaned toward disappointment.

But looking back, I am proud of myself. I trained, I ran, I finished. Even if no one was there to cheer for me at the finish line, I know what it took to get there, and I know the accomplishment is mine.

Another small part of the story — after the race, I ordered my favorite food back at my hotel and even craved a cola (which I normally avoid). My body was recovering, I was tired but pain-free, and despite the ups and downs of the day, there was a quiet satisfaction in knowing I did it.

This experience also made me reflect: last time I ran a big race (a half marathon), I stopped running afterward because I lost the motivation once the event was over. This time, I don’t want that to happen. I want to keep the momentum and let this race be not just a finish line, but a stepping stone to keep running and getting stronger.

So, August gave me a valuable new experience: not just a relay race, but a lesson in resilience, self-appreciation, and finding pride in my own effort even when no one else is watching.

Thanks for reading until the end.