Since I started journaling as part of my journey toward self-discovery and healing, I’ve found it incredibly helpful to reflect on my thoughts and emotions. Today, I want to share a part of my journal. Before I begin, I want to say that I’m not a writer, so please bear with me as I share my thoughts in my own imperfect way. I hope you could connect with a few lines if not the whole post.
Breaking the Pattern
I’ve noticed a pattern in myself—seeking someone’s attention to feel happy, feeling disappointed when they don’t respond to my texts, waiting for validation from people who will never change. A pattern of feeling empty, sad, and drawn to people who don’t truly care for me. Finding faults with people who are near to me and not being able to connect with them. But I also recognize that it’s not my fault.
I believe in seeing the goodness in everyone, but should I not also protect myself? Should I not show myself the same compassion I so freely offer others? Maybe I should stop giving them the power to control my mind, my emotions, my life.
Is it normal to feel love or affection for someone who has emotionally abused you and made you feel unworthy? Yes, I think it is. When no one tells you that you are good enough, when no one says you are doing a great job, that you are brave, loved, and cared for no matter what—it creates a pattern. A pattern where we believe we are not good enough, where we feel we must achieve something to be validated.
We keep repeating the same experiences, meeting different people who bring us the same pain, yet the feelings of loneliness, emptiness, longing, and sadness remain. But I want to remind us: We are good enough the way we are. No matter our mistakes, our appearance, our choices—We are worthy of love and support.
When we lack external love and care, it becomes our responsibility to love ourselves deeply. To show up for ourselves, to care for our minds and bodies. To appreciate ourselves. When we know how it feels to lack love, we learn to appreciate and offer it to others more genuinely.
Our worth does not come from external validation. We know ourselves best—our strengths and our flaws. No matter what happens, we should never quit on ourselves. Even when no one says, “You are doing great,” we can pat ourselves on the back, get up, and keep going.
Our bodies deserve good food, exercise, a clean and peaceful home. Our minds deserve a break from negative self-talk.
Our journey is our own—there is no need for comparison, no need to pity ourselves, no need to blame life’s unfairness. We do our best with what we have, with gratitude in our hearts. We fall, we cry, we get hurt, but we pick ourselves up and show up again. Not every day has to be happy. Not every moment has to be lovely.
Accept the pain. The experiences, the feelings, the discomfort—let them be what they are. We don’t have to fight against them. We just have to acknowledge them and trust that, with time, they will pass. The sadness and suffering will shrink as we learn from them, and one day, they will no longer define us.
What remains will be the strongest version of ourselves—the version that embraces all of life’s experiences, the pain and the joy alike. The version that can look back and say:
Thank you, my past self, for enduring. Without you, I would not have grown into the person I am today.
How to Heal from Unworthiness and Build Self-Worth
Healing the Wounds of Self-Doubt and Learning to Thrive
12 Healing habits 
Leave a comment